Percival and Mordecai to the fuckin rescue.

As soon as you came within sight of the nameless village, you knew that something wasn’t right. There was no sound of man or animal, no movement except for the gentle swaying of the trees in the breeze. Closer in, you could see bodies lying in the dirt and smell the stench of death. Undaunted, you covered your face and carried on.

Whatever happened here, it was your duty to try to discover the truth, and, if possible, determine the fate of Aventine. You had just reached the centre of the village, and were about to split up to search, when a horrible moaning sound came from all around.

And so it bloody begins. Zombies! Zombies everywhere!

We’ve got Percival, the heavily armoured maniac, and Mordecai, his patient and trusting husband. Mordecai likes swords and stabbing. Percival likes bows and keeping out of trouble.

Here they come…

Mordecai and his archer companions start to get outflanked by a zombie and a giant fucking rat. However, Percival has concerns of his own…Z

I gots zombies to the left of me, and I gots giant rats to the very central.

But, fear not! For Percival and Mordecai are trained rangers. And they dispatch their initial foes with ease.

More zombies turn up, but its no issue - Mordecai likes stabbing, remember.

However, absolute disaster strikes - one of Percival’s Guardsman companions, already wounded from a fight with a vicious undead, gets a little too close to a decrepit tower, and…

Jesus fucking christ

A building collapses right on top of the guardsman, and one is killed.

Absolute fucking disaster. This village is a god damn death trap.

“Come back, m’lurd!”

Percival doesn’t take the death of a companion very well. He experiences a mild mental breakdown, breaks rank, and starts hacking up zombies left right and bloody centre.

“OK yea I’m out, bye”

It all gets a bit much, however. One too many zombies spawn, and Percival is forced to flee. Holding treasure, too, so his life is obviously more valuable than that of a Guardsman.